This movie touched me:

I don't know how many of my LJ friends are gamers, but this is fucking impressive. Here's the link to the genius that pulled it off: http://www.mojang.com/notch/j4k/l4kd/

LJ won't allow a Java applet to run, but the code is on the site that I linked. It's a really impressive thing to pull off with 4 kb of data.

Very cute:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/noises

My mom was in town for four weeks. On her last night here, she started feeling very ill and was having a hard time breathing. She was delusional and had a very hard time putting her thoughts together, but went to bed shortly after my wife and I got home. Her flight was leaving the next morning at 11:40 am. I got up 9 am to start getting ready. My mom was sitting in the dark on the toilet with the door open. She'd been trying to get up for over 2 hours but wasn't physically able to. She never called for help, just kept trying to get up to no avail. When I walked past the bathroom, she finally asked for help. I pulled her up until she was bent over, but leaning into the wall. I turned so that she could get herself in order, and she fell back into the toilet, as if she had no muscle control at all. I was very worried at this point and asked if she needed to go to the hospital. She refused adamantly. There were insurance reasons, but more than anything, she just wanted to go home. It was very hard to help her as she was being incoherent for the most part. She was having a hard time breathing, and was complaining that her back and ankle were hurting. My wife and I did our best to get her dressed, which was an arduous task. Finally, we got her outside and down the stairs after I'd had her take her Vikaden. We were running very late, and I was annoyed, but doing my best to get her to her flight so that she could get back to LA and go to the emergency room. My dad was calling in short intervals and begging me to get her to the airport, while checking with me on her condition. Jennifer and I got her through the check-in and had a person with a wheel chair come to get her. I went along with her through security, and had to help her go to the bathroom on the other side. The plane was delayed several time for some check that they had to keep rechecking. My wife and son were waiting on me back on the other side of security, but my mom was in so much pain and was so disoriented that I couldn't leave her. She looked into my eyes with so much innocence, like a young child that doesn't understand why they're in pain after taking a fall. Eventually, the plane was ready and they took her on board. I got back to Jennifer and called my Dad several hours later, after the plane landed and he had a chance to get her to the hospital. He said that she was completely gray by the time that she landed and he got her through the emergency room wait by claiming that she had a heart attack. We both knew that she has kidney stones and was in immense pain from this. The next morning my Dad called me and told me that Mom had really had had a heart attack and that her kidneys had failed. They had to take her into surgery as there was also an abscess in her kidney. She made it through surgery and was given a tube to help her breathe. They said, after the surgery, they she was septic, and that they wanted to start dialysis on her. My Dad has been calling me for the past two days with updates, alternating between weeping and being very matter-of-fact. I've been crying on and off for the past two days. I don't want to lose my mom. I've got a weight on my heart that just gets heavier as this situation continues. The latest update is that she's improving, but the Doctors are still unable to get her to urinate (she's been unconscious through most of this, btw). The Doctors are cautiously optimistic, but she remains in Critical Care. This is very hard to write, and much harder to go through. I went to work today, because there is nothing else that I can do. I'm terrified to make the call to my dad at the end of the day for fear of the worst news, but needing to know, nonetheless.

I've come to a milestone in my life because of my latest gout attack. This was the second time in my life that gout put me in a wheelchair. The last time was just a year and a half ago. This means that my gout attacks are far more destructive than they were just a few years ago, and that they have the ability to eventually put me in a wheel chair, or the ground, for good. The attacks will do this if I don't make some drastic changes, and make them quick. So, as of 3 weeks ago, I've become a vegetarian (more strict in some parts of the diet, and less strict in others). This is hard for me, as I love red meat, chicken, fish, etc. I am not the vegetarian type, I'm not an animal advocate... if you can make the meat more tender, no matter the technique, I'm all for it. So, it's probably karma, at least in part, that I'm forced to become a vegetarian. I'm more strict in my diet in that I can't have any legumes (beans, soy, peas, etc), spinach, alcohol, cauliflowers, bread with yeast (so, I can have tortillas, matza bread, crackers, etc), more than 2.5 g of nuts a day, beef, chicken, or fish. But, I can have some sugar, I can have eggs and coffee (the only acceptable bean, as it's the only one that can reduce urate acids). I am going to stick with this life change for a year at the least. Also, I'm going to start going to the gym and lose 100 lbs. It's not because I give a shit about what I look like, but I know that gout will attack me far less if I'm in the weight that's appropriate to my height (202 - 220 lbs). So, this will be the new me. It's going to be a rough year, but I will live me more years for the sacrifice of one. Hopefully, once all of this intermittent pain is gone, I can be a happier person, be a better dad to my son, and a better husband to my wife.

Check it:

Family Pics 08

I went to the slam at Red's Scoot Inn. It felt good to be on stage again with a slam poem. I definitely need to get the feel of the Austin Poetry community. I had a mediocre score (25.3, I think) with what used to be a strong poem. But, then again, that poem only works really well when I follow 3 or 4 "revolutionary"-style poems. The Austin poetry crowd seems to dig comedy, love stories, and, as BPE told me, narratives. So, I'll take the advice, and give it a shot. I need to remember that I look fairly intimidating and soften my image up a bit. Anyway, here's the one poem that I got off last night (I know it's an old one):

You Say You Want A Revolution?
I see many poets, rappers, and singers talkin' about a revolution, but why?
I see these same poets, rappers, and singers decked out in Nike, drinking Pepsi, I shake my head and sigh
Why? I ask myself over and over, what the hell do they want a revolution for?
When, with corporations and what they represent, they're basically corporate door-to-door whores
Are you "revolutionaries" aware of your oh-so-visible hypocrisy?
Do you enjoy dribbling words without actions just to watch the public agree intently?
Look at them, they don't know what the hell they're inspired for, not even remotely
It's a vicious cycle of talk without a real goal, but the words still abound mercilessly
Now, let's say hypothetically, that you do start a revolution... now where do you go?
You want to change the government? so what's your new plan? how will your new nation grow?
Can you even think beyond your shallow bullshit? Or are you just thinking of that next show?
A revolutionary isn't just a fashion statement complimented by dreads, shaved head, or Afro
A revolutionary has a plan laid out, for not IF, but WHEN their revolution is won
And, only two revolutions were successful without the power of anger and a gun
Are you ready for that? Do you have any real concept of what you've begun?
Dressed in Nikes and drinking a Pepsi, what is this to you? an expression of mock rage for fun?
Well, fuck you, you bullshit, wanna-be, overdressed, underplanned revolutionary
Collect another paycheck, write love songs and poems, but I'm warning you, don't fuck with me
You're not the next Malcolm X, George Washington, or Michael Collins… you're not even a Bob Marley
Give me something of substance, I don't want something to clap about, I want leadership qualities
When I'm covered from head to foot in the blood of bureaucrats at the end of the first day
I want not just a dream, but a system to give me reason for what seems like pointless gunplay
I want you in the frontline at my side, encouraging me to back the bullshit you now just say
And, when it's all said and done, the revolution won, I want a healthy family and a payday
So, you bullshit, wanna-be, overdressed, underplanned revolutionary, when's the fight start?
When are you going to stop dribbling out political poetry, and actually show some heart?
I'll step in front and take a bullet for you, but I demand that you don't just talk, you best take part
I'll climb a mountain of bodies for a cause, but not to watch you climb a music chart.

- Dingo

Man, I have gotten a lot of shit done today, and it's just 10:30 am. I woke up at about 5:50 am after passing out last night at around 9 pm, I guess; can't really say as I literally just passed out in my way-too-comfortable Lazy Boy recliner. Seriously, I need to stop sitting in that chair if I want to get anything done.

Anyway, I got up, packed up all of the laundry in the house, and drove to the laundromat. I did just shy of 8 loads of laundry, folded it, put gas in the car and came home. Then I put the bed sheets on both the beds, cleaned up the house and vacuumed.

Things left to do:
- Pay Bills
- Do Dishes
- Wash and Vacuum the Car
- Pick Jennifer and Jacob up from the Airport

My wife and son are finally coming home from Des Moines, IA today. Five weeks is waaaaay too long. If my Mother-in-Law has another surgery, it's up to my Brother-in-Law to go take care of her next time. I love my Mother-in-Law, but she's got a son and a daughter... it's the son's turn to play nurse.

Okay, off to pay bills and do dishes. I'll catch you peeps on the flipside (I stopped learning new slang in the 90's, I refuse to update :) ).

I need to write new stuff, so I'll just freestyle something here, off the dome.

Disconnect

I've got a cell, a laptop, a computer, three email addresses, and a home phone
I've got a fax machine, two printers, a scanner, and an overwhelming sense of being alone
I've got an Xbox360, a PS2, a PSP, books, and games to fill my small home
I've got wireless internet, 802.11b, basic cable, three TVs, and a fear of the unknown
I left my friends and family (excluding wife and son) in L.A. just over five years ago
And I seem to be scrambling for meaning and social connection in every new place I go
It's a slow go, I mean, a no go, I just get farther and farther away from everyone I know
I find myself on stage from time to time, from rhyme to rhyme trying to reconnect through flow
But, it's just not there, that closeness of old, getting a sense of a greater community
I miss knowing people better than acquaintances, and knowing that they, in turn, know me
It's a huge task to build trust from the ground up in a mature, busy, adult society
I miss the simplicity of high school with its forced conformity, and the ease of finding my place socially

I'm extremely disconnected despite my love of the implied connection of technology
It's unseemly, I've reflected, and found myself plugged into everything but humanity
I'm completely removed from those who once knew me, and know them still only through memory
I've found myself on Livejournal, Facebook, Myspace, and still find myself most often just lonely

-------------------

Well, it's a start. I might add to it later.

So, I went over to Penny Arcade and came across this video. The best part is that there's a series of them. If I ever end up working at Chucky Cheese then I will add to this collection. :



Actually, as funny as that is, the background story is very interesting to me. I may actually go see the whole movie when it comes out:

I've got three things that are tied. The moment that I married my wife. Being the 2001 Los Angeles Slam Master when we came in 2nd. And, the moment that I held my son for the first time.

Just flitting through YouTube and stumbled across some Nerdcore. So, if you're down with gettin' jiggy with your Geek side, here you go:

MC Hawking, "Fuck the Creationists"


MC Frontalot, "It's PitchBlack"


MC Frontalot, "Which MC was that?"


MC Chris, "White Kids Love Hip Hop"


MC Chris, "Fett's Vette"


Lords of The Rhyme

It's kind of nice to be updating this again on a regular basis. I keep leaving roughly one message a year in this, but now I've been updating in a steady torrent for the last couple of days. Since my wife and son went to Des Moines, I've been just kind of dicking around. I've been watching TV, playing video games, surfing the net, etc., etc. . Just writing in a stream-of-consciousness is opening up my ability to write again, which is a good thing. My wife and son are coming back next weekend, so let's see if I can keep it up without falling back into the same routine that I seem so addicted to.

I'm proud of some of my workmates. They've put together an MMO called Secondhand Lands. They got a mention on Kotaku, which is a pretty big video game industry blog. It's nice to see friends succeed.

I'm worried about my dad. He's incredibly self-destructive. He has a deal in the works with David Fincher for a script that he has written about Shakespeare / Marlowe. It's a story that he's told me since I was 8. I read the entire works of Shakespeare by the time I was 12 because of his story and hypotheses. Anyway, my point is, he's researched the fuck out of this material. Now he's supposed to do a rewrite to cut the script down to around 150 pages or so (it's about 300 pages at the moment). But, instead, he just sits there and watches CNN and FOX all day long doing absolutely nothing. He comes up with the same bullshit excuses that he normally does:
"I just need to rent a cabin out in the middle of nowhere for a couple of weeks and do nothing but write."
"I need to walk the dog so your fucking mother doesn't fall on her face again since her leg gives out whenever she fucking moves."
"I need to move the car every Thursday and Tuesday, which your mom can't do."
"I have to drive your mom to the fucking market every week."
etc., etc., etc.
It's fucking endless. Motherfucker, you're 76. You've been doing this shit since my earliest memories. I love my dad dearly, but seriously man, seriously, what the fuck?

He told me the other day that he's got some interest in another script that he wrote about Libby Holman from Angelina Jolie's production company. And, I keep catching myself hoping that they just buy him out and bring some hack in to rewrite it just so he gets paid for something, and succeeds in someway regardless of all of his self destructive bullshit. It's painful to watch, even from a distance.

Well, whatever. Have a Happy 4th of July, people. I think I'll go out and watch the fireworks in a couple of hours.

I meant to post this before that bullshit about the mall. This Wednesday, I went to the poetry slam over at Red Scoot Inn. The whole night was dedicated to Shannon Leigh, who died on June 30th after a cave diving accident. I met her in passing and saw her perform once, in Vegas... and, of course, on Def Poetry Jam:



I dedicated, and reedited this poem for her that night:

Not Enough Time

Have you ever just sat down and thought about how short you have to exist?
From first breath to last, from toddler's babble to blurry remembrances of your first kiss
Life goes by so fast, and each year seems to pass that much faster
I don't know if Darwin's right, or if God exists and is a rat bastard
But I don't want to be this aware of my own mortality at thirty five years old
Even if I knew that I would live to be a hundred and thirty five, the grave would still seem just as cold
I'm not depressed, but my imminent death has been on my mind a lot lately
And the deaths of my parents and friends, I just can't shake this overall feeling of mortality
Do you ever just look at the clock or your watch and just think that there isn't enough time?
How many more seconds, minutes, and hours do we have left to do something worthwhile to leave behind?
I think to myself, how will I be remembered by the people who knew me best, from friends to enemies
And more so, how long my presence will linger on the tips of their tongues and in their memories
You see, I really don't have a close relationship with God, because I'm both bitter and Agnostic
If there is no God, then I'm basically fucked as far as the afterlife goes, and if there is one our relationship is already fairly caustic
So, once again I'm fucked, but I'm more frightened of an oblivion than I am of a hell
I can conceive of eternal pain, but I can't conceive of nothingness where not even blackness dwells
But I digress, I didn't mean to write this poem to question what's in the afterlife
It's just been on my mind recently, that I'm not where I thought I'd be at this time in my life
And, upon thinking that, I fell into thinking about how much I have left to accomplish what I thought I'd already have done by now
When I got to that point in my musings, it hit me, as it does from time to time, that as far as time goes, I'm not what you'd call well-endowed
All I want at this point is a woman I love, a house, a car, and a son
I've got three out of the four, and as each minute passes I'm a minute more past young
I'm just saying that there's not enough time to become the person you aspire to be
And even after that last drawn breath, your only existence is in your friends' and families' fading memories
I enjoy writing poetry for the art itself, and the fact that it gives me a legacy
Because once the flesh has returned to the earth maybe we can live for one more breath in a breath spent on remembering Shannon Leigh.

-David "Dingo" Bleecher

So, I went to the Barton Springs Mall to go see "Hancock". It was a good film, I really liked the concept. I felt that it could have been handled a bit better within the storyline, but the Greek tragedy aspect of it was fairly well realized. They did forget one thing, though... every Superhero is defined by their greatest nemesis. Batman is defined by the Joker, Superman is defined by Lex Luthor, Wolverine is defined by Sabertooth (or Lady Deathstrike, depending on which series you follow), etc., etc. It seems that the writer wanted us to believe that Hancock's greatest nemesis was either Alcohol or Love. It works on the whole man vs. himself form of storytelling, but Batman has that same kind of problem but still requires a physical manifestation of his opposite in the Joker. Anyway, it was a decent flick.

Now, about the mall. I am very saddened by the fact that in the largest mall in Austin there is not one book store. Not a single one. No Barnes and Nobles, no Borders, no B. Dalton's... uh uh, the closest thing that the largest mall in Austin has to a book store is Spencer's Novelty Gifts. And, in the moment I came upon this knowledge, I was hit by an epiphany... this is why "The Hills", "Laguna Beach", "The Wives of Orange County", and every other vapid reality show has become popular.

They've given up.

Everyone who advertised on Saturday morning cartoons that reading was important, every book of the month club that used to send out junk mail, and possibly even "Oprah" and her untold millions of bored housewife minions have completely given up on reading. "The Hills" is this generation's "Catcher in the Rye". This knowledge makes my ass hurt.

Copied from lotuschild03:

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well let's see.
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee I thought everyone was assigned this in school?
6 The Bible - FULL of plot holes, repetitive storyline.
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell Funny story, used to be science fiction.
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott Still don't know why this was a classic.
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller It's funny how few people don't know where the phrase came from.
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare It was Marlowe... in the kitchen with a candlestick.
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald I hated it too.
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy Hated this more.
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams Don't Panic
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck Eerily familiar to my early life.
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame Great book.
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis Loved it when I was a kid.
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini - is there an opposite of italics?
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown Piece of shit, but less holes than the bible itself.
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen Weird how many Jane Austen books are on this list.
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez Drawn out, but holds a place in my heart.
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck Made me appreciate Bugs Bunny cartoons more :)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding Bathroom read. Wife left it in there.
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery Loved this when I was a kid.
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams Still a great read.
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare This falls under "Commplete Works of", you know.
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Today is my birthday. I am now 35 years old. This is a sad and lonely birthday. My wife and son are out of town, and I have no "call up and hang out with" friends in Austin. I work in the video game industry, so all of my work mates are introverts. I'm looking forward to going to the slams tomorrow just to be surrounded by people, passionate people. I'm far too much of a recluse now. I'm very afraid of being described as, "he was a quiet guy who minded his own business, no one knew much about him". Need to get back in the game.

I thought that this was pretty impressive.

Look up anything on Google Images, or any site with a bunch of img src= code in it, then copy and paste the following code into the address bar (including the word "javascript", no quotes):

' javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i<DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5 ); void(0) ' 

It's the little things that make me happy.

I haven't read a Harry Potter book in several years. I think the last one I read was the fourth, and then I just started relying on the movies (which, I think, are two books behind right now). I just got caught up in George R. R. Martin books, and going back to Harry Potter was too much of a paradigm shift. The thing is, Harry Potter is almost as deep (if not quite as complex) as Martin's writings, but I only really knew this through reading the Wikipedia version of the book (as I've forgotten so many of the characters, and I never read "The Half-Blood Prince"). I'm glad that I read it that way, since every three words or so there was a link going to the entire backstory for whatever spell/charm was being cast, the latin or aramaic root for it, and the same treatment for every minor character. It allowed me to see the entire series laid out in a far deeper and intrinsically more interesting way than had I read it in book form. If you wish to experience the book / series in the same way I did (and, if you're a fan, read the book first and then do it this way as a refresher for the whole series as it's far more in-depth than each book on its own) then check out the Wikipedia entry for the last Harry Potter book and read every link as you come across it:

Warning! This is a summation of the entire book. If you wish to read the book in its entirety, I strongly suggest you do that first.